FALLING APART
Disclaimer: Dear Santa, Iíve been a good girl I promise, so please
may I have Angel for Christmas. Iíll look after himÖ
Hey, a girl can dream! Anyhow, the usual applies. I donít own anyone
mentioned here and if you sue the only thing youíll get are the moths
that live in my purse.
Thanx ñ SMG, DB and the gang for giving me the excuse not to do overtime
on a Thursday and for falling asleep at my desk on a Monday ñ wouldnít
take the crap for no-one else!!!
She moved about her room as if on autopilot. She was getting ready to meet
Riley and the guys at the Bronze and her heart wasnít really in it.
Her heart. Just exactly where was her heart these days? Where it had been
for the last few months. With Angel. Wherever he was. She had no idea of
his location. She didnít even know if he was still ëaliveí.
No, that wasnít right. She did know that much. If he hadnít
been the pain inside of her would have been much much worse. Her soul could
still sense his. He was ok. He just wasnít with her.
She sat in front of her mirror and started to run a brush through her hair.
Staring at her reflection she let out a deep sigh. Why was she doing this?
She didnít love Riley and the mood she was in didnít mix well
with company.
What was Angel doing now? Was he with someone else? Her chest tightened
at the thought. But what could she do about it even if he was? Shaking herself
back into the here and now she picked up her silver cross and fastened it
round her neck. It and the silver ring on her hand flashed in the light.
Both were gifts from him. From Angel.
Damn him! She couldnít get him out of her mind for more than five
seconds. She wished that she had never met him. No, that wasnít right
either. Despite the fact that she felt as if someone had staked her through
the heart she wouldnít change a thing. Every moment, good or bad,
that she had spent with him had been precious. Even now she savoured the
memories. Or was that tortured herself with them? Nothing was clear anymore.
A noise outside caught her attention. Voices raised. His voice. She sank
back into her chair, her head falling into her hands. ëHe-llo! Iím
really losing it now!í she thought.
She looked at the bedside clock. She was late. Did she care? Truthfully?
Not a bit. She loved Willow and Xander dearly. Riley? He was nice, but he
wasnít Angel. Moving across the room to her bed she lay back on it
and turned to face the wall. How long was it going to hurt like this? From
somewhere deep inside her a little voice replied softly ìForeverî.
ëThanks,í she thought bitterly, ësome comfort you are!í
She heard a gentle tapping on her window. Her whole world seemed to freeze-frame.
The tapping was unrelenting.
ëThatís it. Iím over the edge! Angel has managed to achieve
what Angelus couldnít. How ironic!!í she mused.
Still the tapping continued. Did she dare look? If there were no one there
then it would prove that she really was unhinged. ëCome on girl, youíre
the Slayer.í Turning, she sat up and focused in disbelief on the
figure outside her window. Her heart beat faster and a smile spread across
her face. She stood up and made her way towards him. One word escaped her
lips.
ìAngel.î
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