Title: Dear Angel
Author: Trixie Firecracker
E-mail: [email protected]
Disclaimer: Angel and Buffy don't belong to me. They belong to The WB,
Mutant Enemy and Joss 'spin-off' Whedon. The songs I mention don't belong to
me either- they belong to the people who wrote, and produced (etc.) them.
Don't sue!! I'm poor!
Feedback: I would LOVE it! Good and bad!
Spoilers: The whole B/A canon is fair game
Summary: Buffy writes a letter to Angel with some sad news...
Songs to listen to while reading:  Angel by Sarah McLachlan, and Somewhere
over the Rainbow by Jewel

                      DEAR ANGEL

  Dear Angel,
       By the time you read this, I will already be dead. I'm so sorry for
telling you like this. We haven't seen each other in so many years that I
felt this was the only way. How long has it been? Twenty years. It feels
like an eternity. I am only thirty-eight, it seems so young now that I think
about it. I have cancer. I didn't see it coming, it just sprung up out of
nowhere and now here I am, writing letters in a hospital bed.
  Do you want to hear something strange? I feel like you're still with me.
If I close my eyes I can hear your voice whispering in my ear like you used
to do. My lips still recall the touch of yours- so petally soft, so sweet.
My skin remembers you. Sometimes I go to sleep just so I can dream of you.
Dream of the way you smiled at me, your arms- did I ever tell you they were
the only place I ever felt safe? There are a lot of things I probably never
told you Angel.
  How I long to hear you say my name, hold me and kiss me and make
everything all right again. But I suppose you can't stop this cancer
spreading. Can you believe- this is what is going to kill me? I've battled
demons for twenty-three years and this is what will get me.
  I don't even know if I believe in heaven anymore. You know where I hope
I'm going? To a place of memories. Where you and I can walk in the sunlight
without fear of fire. Where nothing ever ends- there is no death, no pain.
I'll wait for you in that place.
  Remember me, my love.

  Always,
        Buffy

Lifting the thin sheet of paper to his nose to catch her scent, Angel sank to the floor, and the ink ran as it was touched by his tears.