Disclaimer: Buffy characters, etc, are PoJ (property of Joss). They are not mine. This story, however, is. Please do not distribute anywhere without at least telling me you're going to, and where? Thanks.

Spoilers: (Also some included in the "story background" paragraphs), from Season 2. Most I think from "Surprise" and after that.

Comments: [email protected]

Story Background: The story starts the day before Buffy's thirtieth birthday. (I know, I know, extremely long-lived Slayer, but hey, this is a story!). Willow and Oz are married, and have identical twins - Joshua and David. Willow is two months pregnant with another baby at the start of the story, when the twins are six.

Xander and Cordelia got married, and two years later, Cordelia had Asteria, who is four at the start of the story. Cordelia and Xander are constantly separating and getting back together.

Jenny Calendar was killed, but Giles met another Watcher - Cristina Rosella, from Spain - shortly after Buffy graduates. Nearly seven years later, they marry, and later that year, Cristina has Catherine, who is five at the beginning of the story.

Buffy and Angel are together, except that in my universe (for the purposes of this story anyway) Angelus was never turned back into Angel. This is the complicated bit. Angelus - after being tempered by Angel's soul, was no longer anything like as vicious. (It was Spike, not Angelus who killed Jenny Calendar in the hope the Angelus he knew would gradually return to normal once he was kept away from Angel's soul long enough). Angelus never went through that phase of torturing Buffy, and he slowly fell in love with Buffy as Angel had done, and Buffy fell in love with him. A way was never found to restore Angel's soul again after what Jenny Calendar found was lost - Angelus never opened the Hellmouth, and so was never sent to Hell - Buffy confided to Willow about her and Angelus, and they made up a story to Giles about restoring Angel's soul, and without the break clause, but the spell was destroyed afterwards. Only Willow, Buffy and Angelus know that a way was never found to restore Angel's soul, and in public he is called Angel, so no one else finds out the truth. In private though, he prefers Angelus.

I think that just about covers it...

***

"Buffy's Choice."

By the Little Soap Dish.

***

"Hi, Buffy?"

"Yeah? Who's this?" Buffy asked with a frown.

"Willow," came the reply.

"Willow! Long time no see! What have you been doing with yourself lately?"

"Not much, the twins take up most of my time." Willow laughed, "Do you know, the other day, Josh- Wait, that's not why I was calling. I wanted to know if you and Angel have anything planned for tonight?"

"Tonight, I don't think so. Hang on a sec," Buffy moved the phone away from her mouth and covered it with her hand. "ANGEL?"

"YES?" There was the sound of the shower being turned off, he walked into the living room with just a towel around him waist. Buffy raised her eyebrows appreciatively.

"Are we free tonight?" she asked, running her eyes over his body.

"As far as I know. Unless Giles has anything planned we don't know about yet." He walked slowly over to her, smiling in response to her gaze.

In an effort to finish the phone conversation, she turned away from him. "Willow? We can be there. Sunset ok?" She tried to ignore the fact that Angelus was undoing her shirt.

"That's fine. Xander and Cordelia will be here too. Neither knows the other's coming - they've split up again, for, like, the millionth time. If they don't get back together by the end of the night, I'll be surprised. Cordy's bringing Asteria. I've still got to call Giles, so I'd better go, See you later." By now Angelus had undone Buffy's bra, and she was only too happy to have an excuse to hang up.

"Sure, later," Buffy just managed to get out before dropping the phone. "Angelus," she moaned as he took an erect nipple in his mouth, "I was talking to Willow..."

"You got me out of the shower," was apparently his justification for interrupting her.

"Payback?" she gasped.

"Exactly," he whispered against her breast.

***

"Angelus, honey, we should get up. We should be going to Willow's soon." Buffy didn't move despite what she'd said, she didn't think she had the energy.

Angelus's reply was a low growl. He didn't want to leave either.

"I said we'd be there," Buffy sighed as she started to lift herself away from him. Growling again, he pulled her back down. "Angelus..." she said warningly, "We have to go!"

Sighing, he released her. She understood his reluctance, and leaned over to whisper to him, "Tomorrow's all ours, babe." She kissed him, and got out of the bed.

Slightly cheered, he got up, and began to dress. "So, this thing of Willow's is some kind of reunion? You said everyone's going, and you haven't all been together at once in years."

Buffy paused, "I guess it is, I didn't think of it like that." She shook her head. "It sounds like something Willow would do."

Angelus glanced outside and laughed, "I think we're going to be late, I didn't realise the time. Sorry, honey."

Buffy looked outside too, it was totally dark; she looked at the clock. Nine o'clock. Perfect. "Angelus, call Willow would you? Apologise and say we're on our way." He nodded and gave her a quick kiss before leaving the room.

Buffy finished fixing her make up and hair, she'd got very good at doing it quickly over the years, she could always do with more time, but it didn't look bad. She sat on the bed for a moment, sighing.

"Buffy?" Angelus called from the other room, "Are you ready?"

Buffy walked into the living room and grabbed a jacket from the hook by the door, Angelus picked up the car keys from the coffee table and they left the apartment.

"So, what did Willow say?" Buffy asked as they hurried down the stairs.

"That she was only really expecting us to show a few minutes ago - not being able to leave before sunset and all. So it's not much of a set-back to her." Angelus opened the car door for Buffy. "My lady," he said, gesturing with his arm.

She swatted him playfully on the arm as she got in. He walked around the car and got into the driver's seat.

Buffy squeezed his knee, "Let's go."

***

"Hi Buffy! Angel!" Willow greeted them enthusiastically when they arrived. "Hey, everybody! They're here!" She leaned towards Buffy conspiratorially, "Xander and Cordy have already made up!" Buffy smiled.

"Finally! You know, we were starting to think we'd have to send out a search party for you."

"Hi, Xander," Buffy said dryly, walking inside with Angelus right behind her.

"And Dead Boy too, well, what a treat." Buffy glare silenced anymore comments he'd planned to make.

"So, Willow, what exactly did you have planned for tonight?" Willow had to put off answering for a moment, because one of the twins came running out of the room - Buffy wasn't sure which one.

"David, what are you doing up?" Willow picked him up, and looked around. "Oz? Oz! You can get David to go to sleep, can you take him back to his room?"

"Sure, honey. Come on David, it's bed time for you." He began to head for the bedroom, and David promptly began to throw a full-scale tantrum. "David, stop it - you're too old for this-" Oz became concerned. "What on Earth is wrong?"

Between David's screams, Buffy could just make out something about "Eyes" and "Window." Glancing at Angelus, she saw he'd heard it too. Slipping away from the gather of people around David wasn't hard, and she went into his room. She could here whimpering.

"Josh?" She turned the light on. "What's wrong? Why is David so scared?"

"There were eyes at the window. Glowing. Scary." Josh dived under his bedcovers, and refused to come out. Buffy went and looked out of the window.

She saw nothing. But she had this feeling she'd missed something important...

***

David and Josh had settled back to sleep eventually, and Asteria and Catherine had been put to bed before Buffy and Angelus had arrived while their parents ate a late supper.

Buffy however, did not relax again after the incident with the twins. She couldn't. Something was coming, she could sense it. If only she knew what it was.

After supper, they all went into the living room and chatted about general day-to-day things. Buffy went to speak to Cristina, finding her often easier to relate to than Giles, Buffy often discussed things with her, and then with Giles later - it was like she had two Watchers. Which she kind of did really. She just wasn't supposed to.

"Cris?" Cristina turned from Cordelia's absolutely fascinating lecture on the merits of specially made clothes, against off-the-rack. Willow was doing a good enough job of pretending to listen.

"Yeah? What's up Buff?" she asked on seeing the expression on the Slayer's face.

"It's a little weird... That scene with the twins earlier? They both said something about glowing eyes at the window. There was nothing there, but I just feel... Is anything special supposed to be happening soon? You know, important? Coz I have this real strange feeling that the world's going to be all topsy-turvy real soon." Buffy's anxiety wasn't lost on Cristina, but the Watcher was just as confused as Buffy.

"No, this is actually the one time of year there isn't anything especially vampirey happening - except the usual." Cristina looked at her curiously, Buffy didn't often get 'strange feelings' like this.

Buffy nodded, but still none the wiser, "Ok, look, can you and Giles just have a look around for me?"

"Sure, Buff-" A cry was heard from the girl's room. Cristina held a hand up to Cordelia and went to check on them. Buffy went with her.

"More glowing eyes?" Buffy asked quietly when they walked in. Cristina went over to Asteria, who was crying.

"Mommy! I want my mommy!" The kid screamed until Cristina picked her up.

"What's wrong, why do you want your mommy?" Asteria just pouted. The Watcher smiled, and shook her head at Buffy.

"No, I think she's just lonely. When Catherine sleeps, almost nothing will wake her. Asteria woke up, and there was no one here to pay attention to her." She carried Asteria out for Cordelia to deal with.

Buffy snorted, "How like her mother."

***

The next night, Buffy was out patrolling with Angelus. It was a quiet night, and they hadn't met any vampires yet. Buffy was starting to wonder if they would find anything tonight.

Suddenly, Buffy got the feeling she was being watched. She spun around, and Angelus next to her, turned too, wondering what had spooked the Slayer.

"What's wrong, babe?" He looked into the grove of trees now facing them, and couldn't see anything.

"I feel like someone's watching me." She took a deep breath. "I've felt it before."

Angelus turned to look at her. "Why didn't you say something before?"

Buffy shrugged, "I often feel it, there's usually more than one vampire around, so it's not like I thought much of it," she paused. "But, last night, that thing with the twins... It scared me." The Slayer started to walk over to the trees, but Angelus grabbed her arm.

"Wait, Buffy. Let me go have a look, ok?" He sounded concerned, and Buffy sighed, she shot him a look.

"Angelus, listen, I can take care of myself, right? No protective thing, please?" Angelus hesitated, then nodded. "Right. Now, let's go."

-----

He saw Angelus stop and Buffy seemed to be annoyed about something. Then they both started to head towards him. He decided now was a good time to leave, and quietly slipped away.

-----

"There's no one here, Buff," Angelus said when they reached the grove, "Are you sure there was someone-"

"I'm *sure* there was someone here. You know I don't spook over nothing." Buffy took one last look around, and turned away. "There's no one here now," she sighed, "Let's go home?"

Angelus was surprised at her weak tone of voice, and agreed immediately.

"Angelus, why the gameface?" she asked quietly. He touched his face in shock, he hadn't realised he'd changed.

"I don't know," he morphed back to look human, "Better?"

She nodded, "Don't want to scare anyone. Home now?" He nodded, catching her as she fell against him.

"Want me to carry you?" He asked quietly, trying hard to ignore the exposed neck so close to his mouth... He shook himself out of it, and picked her up anyway. "Home now," he said softly.

***

Once they got home, he put her to bed, she was trembling. When he asked what was wrong she just buried her face in the pillow. Angelus decided to call Giles about it, but instead started talking to Cristina.

"Angel, what is it?" she could hear the concern in his voice

"Can I speak to Giles?" he asked impatiently.

"You can if you really want, but he's asleep, and he's so tired I'd rather not wake him if possible. If you tell me, I'll tell him in the morning. Buffy usually tells me stuff to pass on." It was late at night, and her tiredness caused her Spanish accent to become more pronounced, he could only just understand her.

Angelus hesitated, then explained what had happened earlier that night, and Buffy's current condition.

"Let her get some rest, call again in the morning if she's still like that, and Rupert and I will come over. We might just come over anyway actually, Buffy was telling me she was concerned about something last night at Willow's, with those eyes the kids saw at the window and everything..."

"Right," Angelus was thoughtful, "See you tomorrow. Goodnight, Cris." He hung up and went back to the bedroom.

He gazed down at Buffy, shivering in their bed. He frowned slightly, she looked so vulnerable lying there. He growled low in his throat, it had been so long since he had tasted warm blood... He shook his head in disbelief. What was he thinking?! This was Buffy! He loved her. He could never hurt her.

Angelus turned and went to the bathroom. He looked at the reflectionless mirror. He had been getting these violent thoughts more and more recently, but this was the first directed towards Buffy. Was the effect *Angel's* soul had on him wearing off? No, it had remained unchanged, why would it change now?

***

"Rupert!"

Giles came running into the living room. "What is it Cristina? Is it Catherine?"

Cristina shook her head mutely. She was sitting at her computer, the internet screen up.

"No," she finally managed. "It's... Claire, you know, my pagan friend in France?" Giles nodded, and pulled up a chair beside her. "She found something... She knows I help you with Buffy, and Buffy's situation with Angel. She says that she's been discussing the curse with a descendant of the Romany gypsies of the time. The clause didn't take his soul away, it never left him, it's just the demon was in control instead; *but* the soul would temper the demon, and it wouldn't be as vicious as it otherwise would. It would be possible to restore the soul to control, but according to what she knows, if the soul wasn't restored then after a time it would slowly start to bleed away, into its own form - they would look identical, but one would be the demon, and one would be the soul. They would both be vampires, but two separate individuals." She stopped, "Rupert, this worries me."

"Why? Buffy and Willow restored the soul to control. This only happens it you don't." Giles was clearly confused. Cristina turned to him with a concerned look.

"Rupert, there is no way of invoking the curse without the clause. So Angelus either came back long ago without Buffy knowing, Buffy and Angel both stay celibate... Or he was never restored to begin with."

Giles looked at her in silence. Buffy would know if Angelus came back again, and he somehow doubted celibacy. His head dropped into his hands.

"Buffy told me she felt something was going to happen to make everything 'topsy-turvy,' but I don't think she realises how close to home this is. Angel called last night to say she'd sensed something that didn't seem to be there to him while on patrol. I think this may be the beginning..."

"If this is Angelus, then is she in danger?"

"No, or at least not any time soon. The demon does love her, the soul wouldn't have had the control it would take. We need to tell her though."

Giles just nodded. Cristina understood, his Slayer had lied to him... For thirteen years. No, Cristina realised, she could never understand that kind of pain.

***

"Buffy, Rupert is feeling really hurt right now. You lied to him for thirteen years... Buffy?" Cristina leant over the Slayer in concern.

Buffy wasn't shivering anymore, but she was feeling weak. None of them were quite sure why she was so ill, all they could do was hope she'd get better.

"Buffy? What's wrong?" Buffy turned her head towards the voice. Cristina wondered if Buffy had heard a word of the explanation she'd repeated to her while Giles had remained with Catherine in the living room.

Angelus had been in the kitchen, making Buffy something to eat, and now he came in.

"Buffy? I brought you some soup."

Cristina didn't miss his tender expression, and the way he supported Buffy's head. The demon may be in control, but there was no question that he was in love with her.

"Angelus?" Cristina said quietly.

"Hmm?" Angelus suddenly froze, realising she hadn't called him Angel. He glanced at her.

"We know, Rupert and I. But, we have a problem. Angel is coming back. In his own body - there'll be two of you, identical." Angelus looked at her blankly. She sighed, "I have a friend who told me all about the curse... Oh, never mind-"

"ANGEL!" Buffy sat bolt upright in bed, "ANGEL!"

"I'm here, honey." Angelus put his arms around her, but she pushed him away. Jumping out of bed, she pulled the dress on from the night before, slipped on her shoes and ran for the door.

"Oh God!" Cristina exclaimed.

***

*Angel!* Buffy ran blindly to his old apartment from years ago. She didn't know why, she didn't know much of anything at that moment, except that she had to get to him.

Buffy banged on the apartment door. "ANGEL!" Her scream echoed in the hall.

After a few moments, she screamed his name again, but this time it was shriller, more desperate. The door opened.

"Angel!" Buffy threw her arms around him.

"Buffy!" He finally felt whole again, after months he felt healed. He hadn't expected her to come to him. He'd neglected her so long... She looked up at him, he stared at her in shock. How long had he been gone?

"Thirteen years is such a long time, Angel," she murmured against his cheek. "Such a long time." She looked up. "It was my birthday yesterday."

"How old were you, Buffy?" Angel asked nervously.

"Thirty," she said in surprise. "You bought me... No," she shook her head, "Angelus bought me a dress. It was the one I'd said I wanted... The one with the little flower on the belt." She looked up, realising she was babbling.

"Angel," she began again, "Why are there two of you now?"

"What?" Being told her current age, and then something about Angelus, had throw him off balance a bit.

"Angel and Angelus, two separate people." Angel suddenly realised why he felt so at peace - he no longer felt the demon inside him. He no longer had violent urges, even the bloodlust was dulled to only a faint hunger he was bound to have, needing it to live and all.

"He's... Where is he?" His dark expression froze Buffy's heart.

"No, no, nonono. Don't hurt him."

Angel stared in shock. "WHAT?"

Buffy hung her head, "I love him," she whispered. "He loves me." She looked up. "We've been together for a long time, it was the next best thing to having you, who I could never have back... As far as I knew."

Angel was totally confused now. He shook his head, "Buffy, look, we'll go and find Willow and Giles after sunset-"

"Giles and Cristina."

"What? What happened to Willow?"

"Willow lives the other side of town with Oz and the twins. Xander lives with Cordelia - or at least, did again the day before yesterday, they break up a lot - and their daughter. Giles married Cristina, and they had little Catherine - oh, she is so sweet!"

Angel looked at her blankly. "I think I got all that. What happened to Jenny?"

Buffy looked down, "Spike killed her when she found the curse to restore your soul again, he smashed up the computer so we couldn't get to it, we never found the curse again. Giles met Cris - another Watcher as it happens - a year later, and then they finally," Buffy rolled her eyes to accentuate the 'finally,' "Got married after about seven years."

They were both silent.

"Well, it seems a lot has happened while I've been gone," Angel paused, unsure what to say next. "I'm sorry about Jenny. Is Spike still around?"

Buffy frowned, "Unfortunately yes, but we don't hear much from him which is a blessing of sorts." She looked up at him, "How long have you been back?"

Taken by surprise by the subject change, Angel hesitated a moment. Buffy raised an eyebrow, prompting him to speak. "A few months," he finally answered. "But I... I needed to heal, I wasn't... Whole. It was so strange."

Buffy nodded, taking in the information. "Cristina was explaining this to me, I didn't take much in... I think you should speak to her."

***

"It's sunset, Angelus, can you go out and look for her know?" Giles was clearly worried, and when he didn't receive an answer, he came out of the kitchen and looked around the living room.

"He left the second it was safe, he's as concerned as we are." Giles nodded, not really listening. "Rupert, Buffy did what she felt she had to do. How would you have reacted if she'd told you the truth? You would have made life hard for them, not by meaning to, but because you're a Watcher." She got up and went over to him, "Rupert, she never thought you'd find out, there was no danger from Angelus anymore, he was more like Angel than himself. It was almost as good as true to all practical purposes. I know it hurts, but she was just protecting people she cares about, you, Angelus; you do see that?"

Giles sighed, and nodded. "I suppose I do. It's just that... She lied."

"I know, but try to forgive her, you see why she's done it. I imagine she's feeling really bad about hurting you like this, just let her apologise." Giles nodded, Cristina could always make him feel better. She put her arms around him, and held him close.

"Hi Giles, Cristina." They turned quickly when they heard Buffy's voice. "Where's Angelus?"

"Right behind you, Buffy," Cristina prompted.

Buffy glanced over her shoulder to check he hadn't come in behind them. "No, this is Angel, where's *Angelus*?"

Cristina suddenly understood, and saw how potentially dangerous the situation was. If Angelus came back... "Oh, Angelus was out looking for you. Maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea if you two met," she said to Angel, "We don't know what his reaction will be, he doesn't really know what's going on."

"Neither do I," Angel said, "Buffy said she was rather out of it when you were explaining it to her, so she suggested you tell me." Cristina sighed, "Maybe I should tell you both if Buffy doesn't remember." She led the two into the kitchen, and began a brief explanation.

Meanwhile, Angelus came back.

"Giles, any news from Buffy?" Angelus asked anxiously; "I thought I should check in."

"Yes actually, she's in the kitchen with Cristina." Seeing Angelus was going to the kitchen, he added, "Cristina's speaking to her, you might want to wait, they'll be out in a couple of minutes."

Angelus hesitated, then nodded, "Yeah, that might be a good idea. Let them finish." Angelus sat down, drumming his fingers on the table.

Then Buffy came out, "Angelus, there you are," she said happily. "I think you should know what's going on too."

***

"I see," Angelus said slowly, once Buffy had given him the full explanation. "So I've been split into two parts? Well, that would kind of explain it."

"Explain what?" Buffy frowned.

Angelus hung his head in shame, "I've been thinking so much about warm blood lately..."

Buffy put an arm around his shoulders. "Don't worry, you're a vampire Angelus, it's natural; so long as you keep it under control and don't *do* anything..." She trailed off, not sure how to finish.

He couldn't tell her his thoughts about blood included her, that would scare her, he knew, and he would *never* give her a reason to be scared of him.

"Angelus, I think I should tell you... Angel's here."

Angelus's head snapped up, he went into gameface, and growled deep in his throat. "Where?"

"Angelus-" Ignoring her, he stood and headed for the kitchen. Buffy went after him.

"Angel!" Angel turned to face Angelus.

"Angelus," he acknowledged. Angelus growled, and Angel vamped out, growling as well.

"HEY!" Buffy yelled from the door. They both turned to face her. "What *is* wrong with you two? Deal with it, ok? No fighting in my apartment."

Both vampires glared at each other once more, before morphing back to human.

"Sorry, Buffy," Angel said. Angelus remained silent for a moment.

"Get out," he finally said to Angel. Angel glanced at him, then at Buffy.

"All right." When Buffy began to protest, he held up a hand, "It's ok, Buffy. Vampires can be quite... Territorial. I understand why he wants me gone. See you later." Without another word, Angel left the apartment.

Buffy sighed deeply, "Great." Then she seemed to remember something, and went back into the living room.

"Cris?" Cristina handed Catherine back to Giles, and turned to the Slayer. "Do we know why I got so... You know, all dizzy and weak?"

Cristina nodded, "I think I know. Claire told me that the soul leaves the first vampire in parts. To make the final jump from demon to ensouled body, it needs a lot of energy. I think, you were present at the final jump, and being so close - physically to Angelus and emotionally to both - your energy was used for the transfer."

"That's what happened?" Buffy paused, "I see - I think," she shook her head, "Why does everything have to be so complicated?"

***

The vampire landed several feet away on its back.

"I am *so* sick of you! All of you! I've been doing this for way too long, and now you're *really* pissing me off!" Buffy had walked over to the vampire as she'd been ranting. The vampire was looking distinctly frightened. "And now, I've had a *very* bad day, and you attack me? That's not very wise of you." She kicked him in the head to stop him getting up, and shoved a stake through his heart.

"Um, Buffy?" She spun around in fighting stance to see Angel behind her. "Are you all right?"

"No! No, I'm not all right. Actually, I *really* pissed off. I've had a really bad day, nothing has gone right!" She sighed, "And I'm so tired."

Angel walked over to her and rested a hand on her shoulder, "Why don't you go home for the night if you're that tired. I'm sure I can take care of things."

"Good idea, Buffy. Let him deal with it tonight, I'll take you home."

Buffy turned to see Angelus. "Thank you," she said quietly to both of them.

She walked ahead of Angelus, so she missed the hostile look between the two. Angelus growled at Angel, his eyes had a gold tint to them.

"You'd better go with her, she'll come back to find you if you don't," Angel said calmly, before turning and walking away.

***
***
Two weeks later.
***
***

"Why do you two always have to fight?" Buffy groaned as Angelus and Angel began growling at each other again.

"He's not supposed to be here, Buffy. It's wrong!" Angelus hissed.

"I'm not supposed to be here?! I'm not the demon!" Angel growled in reply.

"Will both of you please just STOP IT?" Buffy yelled in desperation. Both of them turned to look at her in surprise. For the first time they noticed how drawn she'd become lately, how tired she looked, from always having to mediate between the two men she loved. "I give up," she said tiredly. "Rip each other to pieces for all I care." With that, she walked out, and went to see Giles.

***

Giles heard a loud knocking on the door, and went to answer it. He opened the door. He hadn't seen Buffy in over a week - he still found it hard to speak to her, so Cristina had been doing most of the "Watching" duties lately - and he was shocked to see how exhausted his Slayer looked. And wet, it had begun to rain outside, and she had no coat or anything.

"Buffy! Are you all right?" She shook her head; she was shivering head-to-toe, and he invited her in immediately. "You need to dry off before you catch pneumonia."

Once he had her settled, wrapped in a blanket and curled up on the sofa, he asked her what the matter was.

"They won't stop fighting." Giles of course knew who she was referring to, but it took him a minute to link her exhaustion to her statement.

"Well, it's not very surprising. I mean, they are probably both very territorial - it's obvious Angelus is - about Sunnydale. And probably you too."

"Yes, but it's driving me crazy, Giles. What can I do?" She began sobbing into the arm of the chair. "I'm so sorry Giles, for lying to you, but I had to protect Angelus, if Xander found out... I love him Giles, wouldn't you lie to protect Cristina?"

Giles hesitated, then nodded, he was beginning to understand, "Yes, I would."

"And now I have them both, but one can't be in the vicinity of the other... And Angelus always growls if I even mention Angel."

"And it's getting you down." It was a difficult situation for her, but he wasn't entirely sure what he could do to help.

"Unfortunately, they don't seem to be seeing that," she sighed. "I just needed a place I wouldn't have to mediate between two vampires." She smiled, "That's here. You don't mind?"

"No, not at all. Do you want to stay the night? You can sleep on the sofa if you want," he offered.

"No, I'd better get back before they kill each other." She tried to stand up, and stopped, "Later," she sighed and settled back down. "This can't go on, Giles, what do I have to do? Chose between them? Coz that would be hard! I love both of them, one I've been with for thirteen years, but the other one is the one I fell in love with first, and, well... It's *Angel!* How can I chose?"

"I don't know, but you are going to have to."

Buffy and Giles looked up to see Cristina standing in the doorway, looking very pale.

"What's wrong?" Buffy asked instantly. This had a really bad feeling to it.

"Claire's had to do research in pieces, she can't ask too many questions at once, or people suspect." She sighed, and collapsed into a nearby chair. "Apparently, if both the demon and the soul remain on Earth together for too long they both... Well, just fade away."

"WHAT?" Buffy screamed as she jumped out of the chair.

"Buffy, calm down; sit down." Giles turned to his wife, "What can be done?"

"It' to do with the life-force for the bodies being split into two. One of them has to die before the other so the other can survive," she said quietly, then looked up and Buffy, "And I think we know who is going to have to do that."

Buffy sank back to the sofa, shaking her head. "No, no, oh no. I can't *kill* one of them!"

"If one of them is going to survive, the other must die. You're the only person they both let down their guard around."

"You can't ask me to!"

"Well, it's up to you, but you'll lose both if you don't choose one."

***

Buffy lay awake in bed the next morning, Angelus's arm draped over her. Strange how even with Angel around she still slept in the same bed as Angelus. Not that it was anything more than sleeping, but it still struck her as odd.

She had to make the choice today, and act on it tonight, before she had too much time to think about it. But now it came down to it, she realised there was no choice to be made at all.

***

That night, Buffy was patrolling the park with Angelus when they met Angel.

"Hi," she said quietly. "Angel, can I talk to you for a moment?" He nodded, and followed her out of Angelus's earshot. "Look, I need you to go home now. Please don't ask any questions, just go. I'll come and find you later."

"Sure," Angel figured she would explain 'later.' He glanced in Angelus's direction, "At least I won't have to talk o *him* tonight."

"Go, *please!*" Buffy sounded desperate, and Angel looked at her in surprise.

"Ok, I'm going."

Buffy turned away and didn't watch him go, she walked straight back to Angelus.

"What was that about?" he asked with a frown.

She shrugged. "We should go patrol the cemetery, we haven't been there yet tonight."

"Buffy, what did you say to him?" Angelus growled.

"Do you trust me?"

"What?" he asked in surprise.

"Do you trust me?" she repeated.

"Of course."

"Then don't ask."

He walked beside her in silence until they reached the cemetery. She turned and kissed him hard on the mouth.

"Close your eyes." When he raised an eyebrow, she repeated the question: "Do you trust me?" He closed his eyes. She kissed him softly on the lips, and when she pulled back slightly, she pushed the stake through his heart. "You shouldn't have, Angelus. I didn't trust you."

***

Angel heard a knocking on his door, and ran to answer it, expecting Buffy to be there. And she was.

"Buffy!" he hesitated. "What's wrong?"

Buffy stood in the doorway streaked with tears. She dropped the stake that had stayed in her hand until now, and almost collapsed into Angel's arms.

"I loved him you know," she murmured, "I think even as much as I love you."

Angel looked at her in confusion. "Buffy, what you talking about?"

"I had to choose. If one didn't die, both would. But really there was no choice." She looked up at him tenderly, "I love you both, but there was no question of killing you. It had to be Angelus."

"You killed him?" She nodded, and he caught her as she passed out. He carried her to the bed and laid her down gently. He bent down to kiss her, and whispered, "I love you, too."