Only The Beginning by Alisa

Buffy is gone, but it's only the beginning for her loved ones.

She was... hollow. Nothing could penetrate the wall she'd built around herself since her sister had died to save her. To save the world. Buffy had been a good person, a hero. It was Dawn who should have died that night.

Wait, it was that night. Buffy had only died an hour ago. Dawn hadn't moved since she had seen Buffy's still, dead body on top of a pile of debris. Tears poured down her cheeks, and blood still dripped from her wounds, but she didn't care. It didn't matter. Buffy was dead.

Giles was outwardly still, as was everyone else. But inside, his emotions were like a tornado. Buffy. His Slayer. Dead. It just couldn't be. He should have been more strict. He should have trained her harder. Maybe then she wouldn't have died.

But he knew that he shouldn't blame himself. All the training in the world wouldn't have stopped her from sacrificing herself for her sister. Buffy was probably the strongest Slayer there ever was, but love had constantly driven her to risk herself. He should have taken her from her family. Like Kendra's Watcher had for her. But then, Kendra had died long before Buffy did.

Giles had loved Buffy like a daughter. His love had even gotten him fired from the Council. But he couldn't really help it. She had been a wonderful girl. Caring. Brave. Smart. A true hero.

Tears ran down Giles' face even harder.

No. No, no, no. Not Buffy. Not her best friend. Willow weeped against Tara's shoulder. She had told Buffy things she didn't even tell Xander. She had been there for Buffy through her hardest times, and Buffy had been there for hers. Buffy was... Buffy. Irreplacable.

She looked at Buffy's dead body. It seemed to mock her. "Willow, why didn't you save me?" she asked. Willow shook her head. She couldn't have. Buffy had died to save people, as they all knew she one day would.

She got up from the ground. Tara looked at her curiously as she walked over to Buffy. She cradled Buffy's head in her lap. Buffy's skin was cold; her body, lifeless. Willow shook with her tears.

Xander stared, disbeliving, at Willow weeping over Buffy. Millions of memories flashed through his head. Buffy, crying. Buffy, dancing with him. The millions of arguements they'd had. The millions of times they'd been there for each other. He looked sadly over at Anya. She squeezed his hand. Buffy wouldn't be there for his wedding.

Or maybe, in a way, she would. "They have a miraculous love!" he remembered her shouting as she beat the crap out of a troll. Buffy had always tryed to be understanding of his screw-ups. Why couldn't he have done the same for her?Dumb ass.

For the first time in his life since he lost his G.I. Joe, Xander cried.

Death. Here it came again. First Buffy's mom, now Buffy. No one had bothered to explain to Anya what to do when someone died. Xander was blubbering uncontrollably. No, that's a horrible thing to say, she thought. So many people were crying. At first Anya just didn't get it.

Then she realized what was happening. Buffy would never do anything again. They would bury her in the ground, just like they did for Joyce. What a horrible human ritual. A tear slipped down Anya's cheek. Buffy would never again complain about how Anya openly talked about Xander and her's sex life. She would never again go to the Bronze. She would never again save someone's life.

God, Anya just didn't get humans.

So confused. What was happening? Why was Willow sobbing over a lifeless Buffy? Tara couldn't remember anything. What happened with Glory? Why was everyone crying?

Tara looked over at Buffy. Then, everything returned. The fierce desire to go to Glory. The mass of people who built the structure that still towered over them. Suddenly returning with Willow hugging her tightly. Watching Buffy fall to her death. Correction: jump to her death. She had killed herself to save Dawn. Tara marveled at what a hero Buffy had been. She also wondered what they all were going to do without her.

Buffy. Buffy. Buffy. Spike's head rang with her name. He heard yet again Dawn's whimpers as she came down, clutching her stomach, only to see Buffy's body and fall to the ground. The sweet, beautiful Slayer, who had been the only person who ever made him feel like a man. Even Drusilla had treated him like a monster, but that was the part of him Dru loved.

How could she have just killed herself? There were so many people who loved her, who needed her. She shouldn't have died! He should have been the one to end his life, not Buffy. Buffy was to good. To good for him, to good for this world. All the world could offer her was pain. He could have made her happy.

Oh, bloody freakin hell, he thought. Who was he kidding? He would have made her miserable. He wasn't capable of love. Supposedly. Not even Soldier Boy had made that girl happy.

Spike slammed his fist into the concrete. Damnit, he said to himself dully as his fist came up torn and bloody. But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

Giles finally had the sense to get up and do something. He walked over to where Willow sat, cradling Buffy. He sat down next to her. Willow wisely went back to Tara for comfort. Giles just sat staring at his Slayer for a minute. Then he spoke. He didn't know what made him say it out loud, but he did.

"You were the strongest Slayer there ever was. Not just physically, but emotionally. You always got back up when life knocked you down. When Jenny Calendar died, you were what kept me going. No father could be prouder." Then, overcome with tears, he said good-bye. "I love you." He wiped a stray hair from her cheek.

He needed to protect her friends. Her sister. He needed to keep them together. It was what she would have wanted. Determined, and glad that he had a purpose to keep him going, he went to call 911. Dawn needed medical attention.

When the paramedics got there, all they wanted to do was look at Dawn's cuts. Dawn didn't want them to do anything to them. She didn't care about the pain. She wanted the cuts to stay. She wanted the daily physical reminder of the sacrifice Buffy had made. Giles insisted that she at least let them put a bandage over them.

Then, the coroner came. He carelessly lifted Buffy's body and put it in one of those horrible bags. When he started to zip it up, covering Buffy's beautiful face, Dawn snapped. "Get away from her!" she screamed. "Don't do anything to her! I said get away from her, damnit!!" Dawn was SO ready to smash the guy's face in when Xander put his arms around her waist to stop her. He held her back, sobbing into her hair. "Stop. Dawn, please." he whispered. Something in his voice was different, as if he had lost all hope. Dawn pulled away from him.

"You're just gonna let them put her in a bag?! Xander, their going to take her away! I need her! SHE CAN'T LEAVE ME!!" And with that final proclamation, she fell to the ground. Xander couldn't look at her. Then Willow came up and put a hand on her shoulder. "She's already gone." Willow told her.

Dawn shuddered. Willow was right. Buffy was never coming back. Dawn stopped crying. Stop moving. She would have stopped breathing if she could. She closed up shop. Nothing penetrated through the mist. There was no comfort in the mist, just nothingness. No pain, no love. It was safe. And Dawn was never coming back.

Somehow, Giles found enough strength to get them all to his home. Xander had to carry Dawn. She wasn't doing anything. Just lying there limply. Willow offered to get some of Dawn's stuff since she was probably going to be staying at Giles'. No one could bear to look at the awful black dress with the slashes in it that she was wearing now.

Xander and Anya just sat in the living room, unable to do or think of anything helpful. Tara tryed to make Dawn comfortable. Giles was making tea for everyone, mostly just to have something to do. Dawn was still completely comatose. Almost unconscience, it seemed. Giles was scared of what would become of the group.

Willow carefully packed a bunch of clothes from Dawn's closet into a duffel bag. Tank top, jeans, hairbrush, bracelet. She packed everything Dawn would need. She even threw in a teddy bear that had been laying on her bed.

As she walked out of the room, she saw Buffy's room right across the hall. Something beckoned her to the door. She leaned on the doorframe, looking in. So many memories. Willow tentively walked in. She looked at everything. The pictures, the mirror, the jewelry box Willow had given her on her 17th birthday. She opened up the top drawer of the dresser. Messy, she thought fondly. She looked through the photo albums. She ran her hands along the diary, which she dared not open. Then, she moved the diary to look under it.

Oh my God, she thought. The claddagh ring Angel had given Buffy. Angel. How were they going to tell him? He would be devastated. Willow pocketed the ring and resolved to bring up that subject with the group.

She couldn't even think of them as the Scooby Gang anymore. They were missing Scooby.

Willow knew nothing would ever be the same.

Sunshine. Smiles. Happiness. That's what Dawn exected when she dropped out of life, and stayed in the safe border of her mind. But there was nothing. Just the mist. But that was better than anything out there.

Willow came through the door of Giles' apartment and dropped the bag of Dawn's stuff on the floor. "I'll get her out of that horrible dress." Anya, who was feeling extremely useless, offered. "Thanks." Willow said softly.

Xander solemnly picked Dawn up and led Anya into the bathroom. He came back out and leaned against the wall, like he couldn't walk any further because it hurt so much.

There was silence until Anya came out of the bathroom with Dawn, who still wouldn't walk on her own. She isn't even in there, Willow realized, staring at the shell of Dawn.

Xander got her repositioned on the couch. Willow sucked in her breath. "I found something when I went over to Buffy's." she announced. They all looked at her curiously. She took the ring out of her pocket. Everyone except for Tara and Anya recognized it. "Angel." Willow whispered. "He needs to know." Anya was skeptical. "What if he dives off the deep end and does something stupid?" she asked.

"Willow is right. He should know." Giles agreed. "I think he should have the ring." Willow said. Xander nodded. Anya was persistent. "Maybe we should just call him." Spike snorted. "Yeah, right. 'Hey, how's the job, Angel? Oh, right, your only love is dead.' That should go over well." The bitterness in Spike's voice was hard to miss.

"Well, it's not like he comes over to Sunnydale every day. What if we don't tell him? Then he'll never know, and he won't have to go nuts." Anya suggested.

"That's the most outlandish thing I've ever heard." Giles said. "I'm just trying to help." Anya said, sniffling. Tara looked uncomfortable. "Who's going to tell him?" she asked. Every one was silent. "Maybe we should pick straws." Xander suggested. Giles jumped up to get straws. Willow felt sorry for him. It seemed he would've cleaned the house top to bottom just to keep his mind busy.

He came back shortly. "Whoever gets the short one goes." he said. They all picked. Sighs of relief were heard. Willow stared at her straw. It was the short one. "I don't think I can." she said weakly. "It's probably for the best Willow." Giles said, "Out of all of us, you're the one who knew him best."

Spike had been sitting there for the longest time, not doing anything. "You people are disgusting." he ranted finally. "Your supposed best friend DIES tonight and all you can think about is how to tell lover-boy?! Buffy is DEAD and she's not coming back. If you really loved her, you'd be devastated." Willow had had enough.

"You don't think we are?!" she yelled. "Buffy was one of the closest people in the world to me, if not THE closest person, and I'm not sure how I'm gonna go on without her! If you think you can get away with saying you care more than us, you're insane! You are a vampire, Spike! You tried to kill her. Does any of that register with you?!" Spike actually let a tear fall down his scarred face. Then he turned and ran out of the apartment.

Everyone was extremely uncomfortable. They had never seen Spike express this kind of emotion. But most of all, they were trying to fill the awkward silence. None of them could think of anything to say. Nothing would make the pain stop.

Nothingness. Blank, safe nothingness. Dawn was never going home.

Darkness filled her vision after brief pain. She floated upward. Suddenly, the envoloping darkness ceased. Bright white light surrounded her. Everything was beautiful. Where am I? she asked herself. Then, she saw a pool of water, beckoning to her.

She floated over to it. In it, she could see her friends' sad faces. Spike's tears. Dawn's withdrawel from life. Her own dead body. I've got a lot of work to do, she told herself. Mission #1: Spike.

He sat, huddled under the place of her death. The high, horrid structure she had fallen from. Spike cried outright. He didn't care anymore.

He felt a light touch on his shoulder. "Get the hell off me!" he shouted, springing up. What he saw almost made him fall back down again. Her beautiful face, shining in its own warm light. Buffy, in a long, flowing gown, floating slightly higher than ground level. "Sorry to bother you." she said with one of her glowing smiles. She looked translucent; in fact, he could see right through her.

"Buffy, you're, you're-" Spike stuttered. "An angel?" she finished for him. "Hardly. I did go to heaven, though. It's so beautiful, Spike! But I do need your help." Spike could barely speak. "Anything." he replied. "Two things, actually." Buffy amended. "First, I need you to stop crying. I might be dead, but I'm in a much better place. You don't need to worry anymore. If you don't move on, I can't become an angel." Buffy took Spike's hand in her's. "Secondly, I need you to look after Dawn and the others. I need you to protect them for me. You guys have a long road ahead." she finished. "I, I will. I'll do it for you." Spike stuttered. "Thanks. I knew you would." Buffy said. "I have to go now." Buffy said, letting go of his hand. "No, don't leave me." Spike begged. Buffy smiled. "I'll never really leave you. Whenever you need me, I'll be right here." she said, and placed a delicate hand over his heart.

When Spike moved his head to look into her face, she was gone.

Willow stared through the window from the kitchen into the living room at the somber group. She still couldn't believe this was happening. Nothing else in this world could feel this bad.

Tara sat next to her, holding her hand. "Are you going to be okay?" she asked Willow, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "I don't know." Willow squeeked. "I still can't believe she gone. Dead. She'll never be here to talk to us or save the world again. Her spirit is just drifting over a dead body."Tara looked at her with sympathy and grief in her eyes.

"Oh, it's not all that bad." a voice Willow thought she'd never hear again sounded from across the room. Willow turned. "Buffy!" she cried, and flew into her friend's arms. "Oof!" she grunted as she went right through her into the counter. "Sorry, I can't really get a solid body." Buffy apoligized. "Oh, it's okay. What are you doing here?" Willow was excited, while Tara was astounded.

"I came to tell you that there's no need to cry over me. I'm in a better place. I went to heaven, Will! It's so awesome!" Buffy exclaimed. "But we need you, Buffy." Willow argued. "No, you don't. There'll be a new Slayer. And you guys still have each other." Buffy pointed out. "Willow, I need you to do something for me." she went on. "What?" Willow asked. "Keep the group together. No matter what happens. Everyone in this house, and even including Spike, is a family." Buffy said. "Of course." Willow promised.

"I love you." Buffy told her. "You, too." Willow smiled. Then Buffy turned to Tara. "You're part of the family too, Tara." Buffy told her. "T-Thank you." Tara stuttered. "Take care of Willow for me, okay?" Tara smiled at her friend. "I will." "Remember," Buffy told them, "I'm always with you." With that she was gone. Willow and Tara hugged fiercely, not willing to let go.

Xander and Anya were together in Giles' room. Xander was still crying hard. "I can't believe she's gone!" he cried. Anya lovingly stroked his cheek, his head in her lap. "Shh, don't cry, Xander." she whispered.

"You know, Xand, you can never really get rid of me." Buffy's voice rang out clearly. "Wha-" Xander looked up, and was nevertheless quite surprised that his dead friend was standing in front of him. "Oh, my God!" Xander cried. "Hey, watch how you say that. I've met God, he's awesome!" Buffy said, a broad smile on her translucent face.

"Buffy!" Anya exclaimed. "Why? I mean, what-" Xander began, but Buffy cut him off. "Why am I here? Because I wanted to tell you that you don't need to cry. You've got a wedding to plan." Buffy said. "And I wanted to say you've got my blessing. And I'm gonna be standing right next to you for the entire thing." Xander smiled at her. "Thank you." he said. "We'll never forget you, Buffy." Anya told her. "Same here. I love you guys. Always remember that." Buffy said, and then disappeared.

Giles sat in his living room, staring at Dawn's never-moving face. He struggled with the intense need to just slip away, as Dawn had done. One thing was for sure. Nothing would ever be the same.

"Why so glum?" came a teasing voice. Buffy sat on the couch right next to him. Giles' eyes widened in shock. "Buffy, you, you're-" he stumbled clumsily over the words that were rushing out of his mouth. "I'm here to tell you that I love you, and that you're everything I could ever ask for in a father." she said quietly.

Giles was still dumbfounded. "Take care of everyone, Giles." she said, and was about to go when Giles finally found the words to say to his Slayer. "You were one of the strongest Slayers ever. I was so proud of that. But I was even more proud of the fact that you grew up to be a wonderful young woman. You're more of a daughter to me than my own flesh and blood could ever have been."

Buffy smiled, then was gone. And Giles found a peace inside himself that he knew was a gift from her.

Dawn was beginning to realize that the mist didn't cover every emotion she felt. The heartache was still there. Nothing could ever take that away. At least the mist hid her from all the crying faces and "helpful" friends.

Suddenly, a shadow appeared in the mist. Then, the shadow started to glow. And then she could see her sister, beautiful in the angelic glow.

"Buffy!" she exclaimed. "Hey Dawn. What are you doing here?" her sister asked. "The mist is safe." Dawn answered. "Dawn, you need to go back. Everyone needs you. You need them." Buffy insisted. "I don't want to have to feel the pain. Mom left me. You left me. I don't have a family anymore. "Yes, you do. Giles, Xander, Anya, everyone down there is your family. They care about you. And mom and I are always watching over you. Someday, we'll all be together again." Buffy told her, stroking her hair as she had done when she was alive.

"Go back? For me?" Buffy asked. "Do you promise to check in once in a while?" Dawn asked. "Of course." Buffy said, and with that, she was gone.

Dawn blinked, and she was back in Giles' living room. "Hey." she said to Giles, "Miss me?" Giles only answered was a hug.

Xander looked at the fresh grave of his friend. She had been buried for about fifteen minutes. The Scooby Gang was staring at the burial spot, each lost in their own thoughts. The grief was strong, but Xander knew they would beat it. Together, as Buffy would have wanted it.

Xander's thoughts carried him back to the first time he met Buffy.

<<Xander: Can I have you? Uh, help you. Can I... help you?

Buffy: Thanks. -Welcome To The Hellmouth>>

He smiled. He felt her. She had her hand on his shoulder, and she was thinking of the same things he was. And he knew it was only the beginning. After all, he had a wedding to plan.

Buffy braced herself as she appeared in the old hotel. She knew that this was going to be the hardest. It would take him the longest to move on. She looked around the deserted hotel. Empty, she thought. Well, she'd just have to linger here until he came home. Buffy prayed to the God she had already met that he would be able to handle it.

And just as Buffy once again disappeared, Willow walked into Angel's hotel. "Hello? Anyone home?" she called. No answer. Willow took a deep breath. And sat. And waited.

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Only The Beginning
Buffy is gone, but it's only the beginning for her loved
ones.

&nbsp;
She was... hollow. Nothing could penetrate the wall she'd built around
herself since her sister had died to save her. To save the world. Buffy had been
a good person, a hero. It was Dawn who should have died that night.
Wait, it was that night. Buffy had only died an hour ago. Dawn hadn't moved
since she had seen Buffy's still, dead body on top of a pile of debris. Tears
poured down her cheeks, and blood still dripped from her wounds, but she didn't
care. It didn't matter. Buffy was dead.
&nbsp;
Giles was outwardly still, as was everyone else. But inside, his emotions
were like a tornado. Buffy. His Slayer. Dead. It just couldn't be. He should
have been more strict. He should have trained her harder. Maybe then she
wouldn't have died.
But he knew that he shouldn't blame himself. All the training in the world
wouldn't have stopped her from sacrificing herself for her sister. Buffy was
probably the strongest Slayer there ever was, but love had constantly driven her
to risk herself. He should have taken her from her family. Like Kendra's Watcher
had for her. But then, Kendra had died long before Buffy did.
Giles had loved Buffy like a daughter. His love had even gotten him fired
from the Council. But he couldn't really help it. She had been a wonderful girl.
Caring. Brave. Smart. A true hero.
Tears ran down Giles' face even harder.
&nbsp;
No. No, no, no. Not Buffy. Not her best friend. Willow weeped against Tara's
shoulder. She had told Buffy things she didn't even tell Xander. She had been
there for Buffy through her hardest times, and Buffy had been there for hers.
Buffy was... Buffy. Irreplacable.
She looked at Buffy's dead body. It seemed to mock her. "Willow, why didn't
you save me?" she asked. Willow shook her head. She couldn't have. Buffy had
died to save people, as they all knew she one day would.
She got up from the ground. Tara looked at her curiously as she walked over
to Buffy. She cradled Buffy's head in her lap. Buffy's skin was cold; her body,
lifeless. Willow shook with her tears.
&nbsp;
Xander stared, disbeliving, at Willow weeping over Buffy. Millions of
memories flashed through his head. Buffy, crying. Buffy, dancing with him. The
millions of arguements they'd had. The millions of times they'd been there for
each other. He looked sadly over at Anya. She squeezed his hand. Buffy wouldn't
be there for his wedding.
Or maybe, in a way, she would. "They have a miraculous love!" he remembered
her shouting as she beat the crap out of a troll. Buffy had always tryed to be
understanding of his screw-ups. Why couldn't he have done the same for her?Dumb
ass.
For the first time in his life since he lost his G.I. Joe, Xander cried.
&nbsp;
Death. Here it came again. First Buffy's mom, now Buffy. No one had bothered
to explain to Anya what to do when someone died. Xander was blubbering
uncontrollably. No, that's a horrible thing to say, she thought. So many people
were crying. At first Anya just didn't get it.
Then she realized what was happening. Buffy would never do anything again.
They would bury her in the ground, just like they did for Joyce. What a horrible
human ritual. A tear slipped down Anya's cheek. Buffy would never again complain
about how Anya openly talked about Xander and her's sex life. She would never
again go to the Bronze. She would never again save someone's life.
God, Anya just didn't get humans.
&nbsp;
So confused. What was happening? Why was Willow sobbing over a lifeless
Buffy? Tara couldn't remember anything. What happened with Glory? Why was
everyone crying?
Tara looked over at Buffy. Then, everything returned. The fierce desire to go
to Glory. The mass of people who built the structure that still towered over
them. Suddenly returning with Willow hugging her tightly. Watching Buffy fall to
her death. Correction: jump to her death. She had killed herself to save Dawn.
Tara marveled at what a hero Buffy had been. She also wondered what they all
were going to do without her.
&nbsp;
Buffy. Buffy. Buffy. Spike's head rang with her name. He heard yet again
Dawn's whimpers as she came down, clutching her stomach, only to see Buffy's
body and fall to the ground. The sweet, beautiful Slayer, who had been the only
person who ever made him feel like a man. Even Drusilla had treated him like a
monster, but that was the part of him Dru loved.
How could she have just killed herself? There were so many people who loved
her, who needed her. She shouldn't have died! He should have been the one to end
his life, not Buffy. Buffy was to good. To good for him, to good for this world.
All the world could offer her was pain. He could have made her happy.
Oh, bloody freakin hell, he thought. Who was he kidding? He would have made
her miserable. He wasn't capable of love. Supposedly. Not even Soldier Boy had
made that girl happy.
Spike slammed his fist into the concrete. Damnit, he said to himself dully as
his fist came up torn and bloody. But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered
anymore.
&nbsp;
Giles finally had the sense to get up and do something. He walked over to
where Willow sat, cradling Buffy. He sat down next to her. Willow wisely went
back to Tara for comfort. Giles just sat staring at his Slayer for a minute.
Then he spoke. He didn't know what made him say it out loud, but he did.
"You were the strongest Slayer there ever was. Not just physically, but
emotionally. You always got back up when life knocked you down. When Jenny
Calendar died, you were what kept me going. No father could be prouder." Then,
overcome with tears, he said good-bye. "I love you." He wiped a stray hair from
her cheek.
He needed to protect her friends. Her sister. He needed to keep them
together. It was what she would have wanted. Determined, and glad that he had a
purpose to keep him going, he went to call 911. Dawn needed medical
attention.
&nbsp;
When the paramedics got there, all they wanted to do was look at Dawn's cuts.
Dawn didn't want them to do anything to them. She didn't care about the pain.
She wanted the cuts to stay. She wanted the daily physical reminder of the
sacrifice Buffy had made. Giles insisted that she at least let them put a
bandage over them.
Then, the coroner came. He carelessly lifted Buffy's body and put it in one
of those horrible bags. When he started to zip it up, covering Buffy's beautiful
face, Dawn snapped. "Get away from her!" she screamed. "Don't do anything to
her! I said get away from her, damnit!!" Dawn was SO ready to smash the guy's
face in when Xander put his arms around her waist to stop her. He held her back,
sobbing into her hair. "Stop. Dawn, please." he whispered. Something in his
voice was different, as if he had lost all hope. Dawn pulled away from him.
"You're just gonna let them put her in a bag?! Xander, their going to take
her away! I need her! SHE CAN'T LEAVE ME!!" And with that final proclamation,
she fell to the ground. Xander couldn't look at her. Then Willow came up and put
a hand on her shoulder. "She's already gone." Willow told her.
Dawn shuddered. Willow was right. Buffy was never coming back. Dawn stopped
crying. Stop moving. She would have stopped breathing if she could. She closed
up shop. Nothing penetrated through the mist. There was no comfort in the mist,
just nothingness. No pain, no love. It was safe. And Dawn was never coming
back.
&nbsp;
Somehow, Giles found enough strength to get them all to his home. Xander had
to carry Dawn. She wasn't doing anything. Just lying there limply. Willow
offered to get some of Dawn's stuff since she was probably going to be staying
at Giles'. No one could bear to look at the awful black dress with the slashes
in it that she was wearing now.
Xander and Anya just sat in the living room, unable to do or think of
anything helpful. Tara tryed to make Dawn comfortable. Giles was making tea for
everyone, mostly just to have something to do. Dawn was still completely
comatose. Almost unconscience, it seemed. Giles was scared of what would become
of the group.
&nbsp;
Willow carefully packed a bunch of clothes from Dawn's closet into a duffel
bag. Tank top, jeans, hairbrush, bracelet. She packed everything Dawn would
need. She even threw in a teddy bear that had been laying on her bed.
As she walked out of the room, she saw Buffy's room right across the hall.
Something beckoned her to the door. She leaned on the doorframe, looking in. So
many memories. Willow tentively walked in. She looked at everything. The
pictures, the mirror, the jewelry box Willow had given her on her 17th birthday.
She opened up the top drawer of the dresser. Messy, she thought fondly. She
looked through the photo albums. She ran her hands along the diary, which she
dared not open. Then, she moved the diary to look under it.
Oh my God, she thought. The claddagh ring Angel had given Buffy. Angel. How
were they going to tell him? He would be devastated. Willow pocketed the ring
and resolved to bring up that subject with the group.
She couldn't even think of them as the Scooby Gang anymore. They were missing
Scooby.
Willow knew nothing would ever be the same.
&nbsp;
Sunshine. Smiles. Happiness. That's what Dawn exected when she dropped out of
life, and stayed in the safe border of her mind. But there was nothing. Just the
mist. But that was better than anything out there.
&nbsp;
Willow came through the door of Giles' apartment and dropped the bag of
Dawn's stuff on the floor. "I'll get her out of that horrible dress." Anya, who
was feeling extremely useless, offered. "Thanks." Willow said softly.
Xander solemnly picked Dawn up and led Anya into the bathroom. He came back
out and leaned against the wall, like he couldn't walk any further because it
hurt so much.
There was silence until Anya came out of the bathroom with Dawn, who still
wouldn't walk on her own. She isn't even in there, Willow realized, staring at
the shell of Dawn.
Xander got her repositioned on the couch. Willow sucked in her breath. "I
found something when I went over to Buffy's." she announced. They all looked at
her curiously. She took the ring out of her pocket. Everyone except for Tara and
Anya recognized it. "Angel." Willow whispered. "He needs to know." Anya was
skeptical. "What if he dives off the deep end and does something stupid?" she
asked.
"Willow is right. He should know." Giles agreed. "I think he should have the
ring." Willow said. Xander nodded. Anya was persistent. "Maybe we should just
call him." Spike snorted. "Yeah, right. 'Hey, how's the job, Angel? Oh, right,
your only love is dead.' That should go over well." The bitterness in Spike's
voice was hard to miss.
"Well, it's not like he comes over to Sunnydale every day. What if we don't
tell him? Then he'll never know, and he won't have to go nuts." Anya
suggested.
"That's the most outlandish thing I've ever heard." Giles said. "I'm just
trying to help." Anya said, sniffling. Tara looked uncomfortable. "Who's going
to tell him?" she asked. Every one was silent. "Maybe we should pick straws."
Xander suggested. Giles jumped up to get straws. Willow felt sorry for him. It
seemed he would've cleaned the house top to bottom just to keep his mind
busy.
He came back shortly. "Whoever gets the short one goes." he said. They all
picked. Sighs of relief were heard. Willow stared at her straw. It was the short
one. "I don't think I can." she said weakly. "It's probably for the best
Willow." Giles said, "Out of all of us, you're the one who knew him best."
Spike had been sitting there for the longest time, not doing anything. "You
people are disgusting." he ranted finally. "Your supposed best friend DIES
tonight and all you can think about is how to tell lover-boy?! Buffy is DEAD and
she's not coming back. If you really loved her, you'd be devastated." Willow had
had enough.
"You don't think we are?!" she yelled. "Buffy was one of the closest people
in the world to me, if not THE closest person, and I'm not sure how I'm gonna go
on without her! If you think you can get away with saying you care more than us,
you're insane! You are a vampire, Spike! You tried to kill her. Does any of that
register with you?!" Spike actually let a tear fall down his scarred face. Then
he turned and ran out of the apartment.
Everyone was extremely uncomfortable. They had never seen Spike express this
kind of emotion. But most of all, they were trying to fill the awkward silence.
None of them could think of anything to say. Nothing would make the pain
stop.
&nbsp;
Nothingness. Blank, safe nothingness. Dawn was never going home.
&nbsp;
Darkness filled her vision after brief pain. She floated upward. Suddenly,
the envoloping darkness ceased. Bright white light surrounded her. Everything
was beautiful. Where am I? she asked herself. Then, she saw a pool of water,
beckoning to her.
She floated over to it. In it, she could see her friends' sad faces. Spike's
tears. Dawn's withdrawel from life. Her own dead body. I've got a lot of work to
do, she told herself. Mission #1: Spike.
&nbsp;
He sat, huddled under the place of her death. The high, horrid structure she
had fallen from. Spike cried outright. He didn't care anymore.
He felt a light touch on his shoulder. "Get the hell off me!" he shouted,
springing up. What he saw almost made him fall back down again. Her beautiful
face, shining in its own warm light. Buffy, in a long, flowing gown, floating
slightly higher than ground level. "Sorry to bother you." she said with one of
her glowing smiles. She looked translucent; in fact, he could see right through
her.
"Buffy, you're, you're-" Spike stuttered. "An angel?" she finished for him.
"Hardly. I did go to heaven, though. It's so beautiful, Spike! But I do need
your help." Spike could barely speak. "Anything." he replied. "Two things,
actually." Buffy amended. "First, I need you to stop crying. I might be dead,
but I'm in a much better place. You don't need to worry anymore. If you don't
move on, I can't become an angel." Buffy took Spike's hand in her's. "Secondly,
I need you to look after Dawn and the others. I need you to protect them for me.
You guys have a long road ahead." she finished. "I, I will. I'll do it for you."
Spike stuttered. "Thanks. I knew you would." Buffy said. "I have to go now."
Buffy said, letting go of his hand. "No, don't leave me." Spike begged. Buffy
smiled. "I'll never really leave you. Whenever you need me, I'll be right here."
she said, and placed a delicate hand over his heart.
When Spike moved his head to look into her face, she was gone.
&nbsp;
Willow stared through the window from the kitchen into the living room at the
somber group. She still couldn't believe this was happening. Nothing else in
this world could feel this bad.
Tara sat next to her, holding her hand. "Are you going to be okay?" she asked
Willow, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "I don't know." Willow squeeked.
"I still can't believe she gone. Dead. She'll never be here to talk to us or
save the world again. Her spirit is just drifting over a dead body."Tara looked
at her with sympathy and grief in her eyes.
"Oh, it's not all that bad." a voice Willow thought she'd never hear again
sounded from across the room. Willow turned. "Buffy!" she cried, and flew into
her friend's arms. "Oof!" she grunted as she went right through her into the
counter. "Sorry, I can't really get a solid body." Buffy apoligized. "Oh, it's
okay. What are you doing here?" Willow was excited, while Tara was
astounded.
"I came to tell you that there's no need to cry over me. I'm in a better
place. I went to heaven, Will! It's so awesome!" Buffy exclaimed. "But we need
you, Buffy." Willow argued. "No, you don't. There'll be a new Slayer. And you
guys still have each other." Buffy pointed out. "Willow, I need you to do
something for me." she went on. "What?" Willow asked. "Keep the group together.
No matter what happens. Everyone in this house, and even including Spike, is a
family." Buffy said. "Of course." Willow promised.
"I love you." Buffy told her. "You, too." Willow smiled. Then Buffy turned to
Tara. "You're part of the family too, Tara." Buffy told her. "T-Thank you." Tara
stuttered. "Take care of Willow for me, okay?" Tara smiled at her friend. "I
will." "Remember," Buffy told them, "I'm always with you." With that she was
gone. Willow and Tara hugged fiercely, not willing to let go.
&nbsp;
Xander and Anya were together in Giles' room. Xander was still crying hard.
"I can't believe she's gone!" he cried. Anya lovingly stroked his cheek, his
head in her lap. "Shh, don't cry, Xander." she whispered.
"You know, Xand, you can never really get rid of me." Buffy's voice rang out
clearly. "Wha-" Xander looked up, and was nevertheless quite surprised that his
dead friend was standing in front of him. "Oh, my God!" Xander cried. "Hey,
watch how you say that. I've met God, he's awesome!" Buffy said, a broad smile
on her translucent face.
"Buffy!" Anya exclaimed. "Why? I mean, what-" Xander began, but Buffy cut him
off. "Why am I here? Because I wanted to tell you that you don't need to cry.
You've got a wedding to plan." Buffy said. "And I wanted to say you've got my
blessing. And I'm gonna be standing right next to you for the entire thing."
Xander smiled at her. "Thank you." he said. "We'll never forget you, Buffy."
Anya told her. "Same here. I love you guys. Always remember that." Buffy said,
and then disappeared.
&nbsp;
Giles sat in his living room, staring at Dawn's never-moving face. He
struggled with the intense need to just slip away, as Dawn had done. One thing
was for sure. Nothing would ever be the same.
"Why so glum?" came a teasing voice. Buffy sat on the couch right next to
him. Giles' eyes widened in shock. "Buffy, you, you're-" he stumbled clumsily
over the words that were rushing out of his mouth. "I'm here to tell you that I
love you, and that you're everything I could ever ask for in a father." she said
quietly.
Giles was still dumbfounded. "Take care of everyone, Giles." she said, and
was about to go when Giles finally found the words to say to his Slayer. "You
were one of the strongest Slayers ever. I was so proud of that. But I was even
more proud of the fact that you grew up to be a wonderful young woman. You're
more of a daughter to me than my own flesh and blood could ever have been."
Buffy smiled, then was gone. And Giles found a peace inside himself that he
knew was a gift from her.
&nbsp;
Dawn was beginning to realize that the mist didn't cover every emotion she
felt. The heartache was still there. Nothing could ever take that away. At least
the mist hid her from all the crying faces and "helpful" friends.
Suddenly, a shadow appeared in the mist. Then, the shadow started to glow.
And then she could see her sister, beautiful in the angelic glow.
"Buffy!" she exclaimed. "Hey Dawn. What are you doing here?" her sister
asked. "The mist is safe." Dawn answered. "Dawn, you need to go back. Everyone
needs you. You need them." Buffy insisted. "I don't want to have to feel the
pain. Mom left me. You left me. I don't have a family anymore. "Yes, you do.
Giles, Xander, Anya, everyone down there is your family. They care about you.
And mom and I are always watching over you. Someday, we'll all be together
again." Buffy told her, stroking her hair as she had done when she was
alive.
"Go back? For me?" Buffy asked. "Do you promise to check in once in a while?"
Dawn asked. "Of course." Buffy said, and with that, she was gone.
&nbsp;
Dawn blinked, and she was back in Giles' living room. "Hey." she said to
Giles, "Miss me?" Giles only answered was a hug.
&nbsp;
Xander looked at the fresh grave of his friend. She had been buried for about
fifteen minutes. The Scooby Gang was staring at the burial spot, each lost in
their own thoughts. The grief was strong, but Xander knew they would beat it.
Together, as Buffy would have wanted it.
Xander's thoughts carried him back to the first time he met Buffy.
&lt;&lt;Xander: Can I have you? Uh, help you. Can I... help you?
Buffy: Thanks. -Welcome To The Hellmouth&gt;&gt;
He smiled. He felt her. She had her hand on his shoulder, and she was
thinking of the same things he was. And he knew it was only the beginning. After
all, he had a wedding to plan.
&nbsp;
Buffy braced herself as she appeared in the old hotel. She knew that this was
going to be the hardest. It would take him the longest to move on. She looked
around the deserted hotel. Empty, she thought. Well, she'd just have to linger
here until he came home. Buffy prayed to the God she had already met that he
would be able to handle it.
&nbsp;
And just as Buffy once again disappeared, Willow walked into Angel's hotel.
"Hello? Anyone home?" she called. No answer. Willow took a deep breath. And sat.
And waited. </DIV>