The Angel Scouts Fight Back
(In a very nasty way)

Disclaimer: blah dilly blah, don't own the characters owned, they belong to
the devil (or known as Joss Wheadon to you stupid people out there) There
are references to Sailor Moon (sort of) and a little bit of Austin Powers.
I don't own these thing either.
Authors Note: Yes, this is silly, this is crazy. I am the queen of
psychos, so expect nothing less than mass carnage and Riley hatred all
around. You were expecting something else? Silly people, so full of hope
that Riley would be spared. BWAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHA!! I think not!!!! grins
evilly
Feedback: duh, what else? E-mail it to either: [email protected] or
[email protected]
Finale Note: Enjoy!! Bwahahahaahahaahah. Enter my land of silliness

Narrator: It is a sunny and stormy Wednesday night, the clouds were
singing, the birds were gathering. Everything was as it should be crazy
and weird, what else would happen in the dimension that the Buffy and Angel
existed.
Anyways, in a certain house, there were certain people. They were special
people. You see, they were pure, they did not have THE disease. Yes, THE
disease. Come on, you know what I'm talking about. The deadly and evil
FINNIAN DISEASE!! It is the 20th century cancer. But, there were six, pure
and unaffected girls in the world still left, well, not all had it, but they
were the only ones not known to have it.
ROLL CALL!
Lisa!
Trish!
Tamara!
Brandi!
Rowie!
Lauren!
Ah, yes, they, were the Angel Scouts, destined to destroy Riley and his evil
ways, and to defend the honor and hunkiness of Angel. Courageous and
strong, brave, they had to be, because they were the ones in the world that
could stop his scourge of evil, and his recruiting of evil worshipers. Now,
lets take a look at these six girls, these six fierce warriors
*********************
Tamara chugged down the last of her soda and gave out a loud belch. Then
she started to bleed honey out of her knees. They all started laughing
hysterically. Rowie was laughing so hard she sniffed some icing sugar up
her nose. She was wearing slippers on her hands, because her hands were
squishy. Trish shoved a whole chocolate bar in her mouth, chewing with her
mouth wide open, snorting and laughing. She had no fingers, but then she
suddenly did. Someone let one rip, which caused them to laugh even harder.
Brandi started stamping her foot on the floor, peels of laugher tumbling out
of her mouth. She touched her nose, and started laughing even harder, and
only paused to shove a donut into her mouth, jelly dripping from her eyes.
Lisa swallowed a whole slurpee, which made her start hacking and gagging,
although she still laughed. Her eyebrows peed out peanut butter. Lauren
zoomed around the room, her arms spread out like a bird, making airplane
sounds, unchewed potato chips spilling out of her mouth. She had no teeth,
but then they grew back, until she had no teeth. They stopped laughing.
Then started. Then stopped. And so on, and so on, until they were crying.
Their tears filled up the room. The tears made little puddles and turning
into snow. Then they starting throwing food. At each other, and out the
window. Then, finally at the evil picture on the dartboard, of the one and
only Riley. After this fun time, they started swimming in potato chips and
hamburger buns.
Narrator: Ummmmmmmmmmmm. They're not usually like this
"Swing it, shake it, move it make it" screamed Lisa. She pulled on her
ears and crouched down, talking to the carpet.
"How are you, I m fine dude," she said, engrossed in her conversation with
the carpet.
"Snuggle dole," whispered Trish, pulling at her hair. She wiggled her toes.
Rowie burped.
"Like, fer sure," she said, belching again and went and stuck her head in
the bag of icing sugar, lapping it up with her 50 foot long tongue, just
perfect for eating up icing sugar.
"I want to be your friend," said Lauren with a mouth full of potato chips,
ever so calmly. She made farting sounds with her armpit.
Narrator: I can't take it any more! They're supposed to be ferocious
warrior, not sugar high!
Tamara looked up, her eyes wide.
"Who said that?" All the girls stopped their shenanigans and looked up,
suddenly calm.
"Must be the boss," sighed Lisa. They all nodded in agreement.
"I wonder what she wants us to do now." They all nodded again, rolling
their eyes as they pictured their boss, her pants in a bunch.
"Waaaaait," said Lauren. They all looked at her. "We don't have a boss,"
she screamed. Chaos ensued. Toilet paper and rubber duckies rained down
from the ceiling. They all ran around the room, screaming and yelling and
burping.
Narrator: Shut up, will you. Now listen here, you have to shape up. There
is trouble with HIM.
They all stopped. Understanding entered their eyes, the whole, voice but no
person talking whatchamacallit became irrelevant.
Narrator: Check your e-mail.
Lisa ran over to her computer and logged on, everyone else crowding around
it. They waited impatiently for the internet to connect. It finally did
and they went to their top-secret private e-mail that was only used for
emergencies with HIM. There is was, the message. They read it. This is
what it read. Read it for yourself.

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Hello Angel scouts, your help is needed, yet again. Sarah just had a
meeting with Joss Wheadon, and it is most terrible. She gave me this list
that Joss gave her. It is titled: 10 more ways to make B/A shippers life
hell. This concerns you. Read on, but beware, the horrors are too much.

1. have B/R get married
2. have Angel and Darla get married
3. have Angel die
4. make Riley the king of the show
5. have B/R screwage in EVERY ep
6. Put Riley in every scene with lots of close ups
7. have Riley beat up Angel
8. have Riley make Angel his eternal slave
9. send Angel BACK to hell
10. have Riley take over Angel's show, but still stay on Buffy for the rest
of his life

The worst part is, Joss is considering to do at least one of these, if not
all. I must urge the importance that you fix this, before all B/A hope is
gone from this world. Good luck scouts, may the force be with you!
David B.

Chaos ensued once again. All six girls screamed and started doing
cartwheels. They all grabbed sporks and threw them at pillows. They were
angry. They were pissed. This was not good.
Narrator: Get a hold of yourselves! You must flee now!
Lisa stopped her hysterics.
"She's right, we have to transform!" They all nodded their heads and took
out oval lockets, each with a picture of a claddagh ring. They held them
above their heads and shouted together,
"Angel power!" Cheesy music proceeded to play as a bunch of lights flash
and their secret costumes start to wrap around them. The costume is,
totally rad knee-high boots, miniskirts, tank tops, gloves and tiaras.
Lisa's outfit is blue, Trish's is white, Tamara's is yellow, Brandi's is
green, Laurens is hot pink, and Rowie's is black. Lots of turning and
posing proceed. Then they all take a finale pose, in front of a picture of
a rose, which just happened to appear.
"In the name of Angel, we will punish you!" They all screamed and high
fived each other.
"To the Angel-mobile," yelled Lauren. They all flipped out the window and
twirled to the ground, which happened to be 1000 feet away, toilet paper
flowing behind them, then they cart wheeled into the car that just happened
to hold six girls. Then, they turned on the radio, as Papa Roaches song
"Last Resort" blared out of the radio. With a screech of tires, they were
off. To save the world and to make a better brand of toilet paper.
They pulled up to where HE lived, the car on fire for no apparent reason,
the gas leaking out of the steering wheel. Ironically enough, HIS base of
evil doings was in a church, which makes no sense because he worshipped the
devil. All six girls walked out of the car, slurpees in their hands, they
were hungry so they had made a pit stop to the wonderful and heavenly 7-11.
They finished off their slurpees and threw the cups in the trunk, which was
overflowing with slurpee cups, but they didn't care. They didn't care about
much. Only about food, fighting the name of Angel, making sure that B/A get
back together, and destroying HIM.
"Well, lets get too it girls," shouted Trish. They all nodded. They ran,
full speed to the doors and smashed through the door, although they could
have just opened the door, cause it was unlocked and all, but you know the
Angel scouts, always have to make an entrance, either that or they're just
stupid. They gasp in horror as the horror before them. There are about 100
girls, eyes red, bowing down before HIM, and picture of HIM, saying HIS
name, over and over, they are KISSING pictures of COWS, and eating CHEESE.
They have army paint on their faces, and are wearing COMMANDO outfits, just
like HIM. HE turned to face the Angel scouts, a bald calf (baby cow) in his
arms, his thumb pressed to his mouth.
"Well Angel scouts, it's a pleasure to finally meet you, and I have heard
much about you. I hear that you are here to destroy me; I take it that you
are up to the challenge? You will not defeat me, for I am strong and
powerful and all that other crap. I will rip your bones from your body, and
I shall make a coat out of you skins for Bessie here." HE stroked the calf
in his arms affectionately.
The Angel scouts couldn't take it anymore. They burst out laughing.
Snorting and laughing, they stomped and howled in laughter.
"You-you're going to kill US," laughed Lisa, tears streaming out of her
eyes.
"Ye-yeah," sputtered out Tamara. "This coming from the guy who killed,
killed 16 hostiles in like 3 years?" They all laughed even harder at this.
HE pouted.
"It was only 2 years," he muttered under his breath. The girls couldn't
stop their laughing. RILEY smiled, fortunately he saw that this was his
chance, he could strike now.
"Take them my children, take them and make them eat cheese," yelled out
Riley, his thumb going to his corner of his mouth once again. The girls
stopped laughing at once, seeing the 100 crazy girls running at them with
gasp CHEESE!
"Noooooo," yelled Lauren. "Not the CHEESE!" They all gasped at this
thought.
"Ooh, he is truly evil," cried out Trish. Lisa turned to her fellow Angel
scouts.
"Lets show these stupid finnians what we're made of!" They all high fived
and gave a rebel call. They jumped in the air and floated there for a
couple of seconds, crossed their arms in front of them, and yelled at the
same time,
"In the name of Angel, we shall punish you! Sharp Spork power, BLAST!"
With the last word, they threw out their hands, and suddenly a thousand
sporks flew and pinned the cheese to the wall. The finnians stopped in
their tracks, horror struck that their cheese attack has been stopped.
Riley looked a little green under the gills (get it, get it, GILLS? Cause
he's fish boy!! Aahahaha, I am so witty!)
The finnains came out of their daze, and picked up their next weapon, a
tazer gun, the only chance that Riley had against anything. The Angel
scouts scoffed at this, and prepared to launch their next attack. They
jumped up in the air, did a couple of cartwheels, and froze in the air, once
again, and yelled together.
"Hamburgers ignite!" Lights started flashing, as flame broiled hamburgers
shot out at the finnains, taking at least 50 down, screaming,
"No, not hamburgers, no, mercy, mercy!" The remaining finnians got the
deer caught in the headlight look and hightailed it out of there, picking up
their wounded co-finnians on the way out. The Angel scouts stood, hands on
hips, facing the only one left Riley himself. He was sweating bullets now;
the last attack had him quite shaken up. He had a hand over Bessie's eyes,
shielding her from the hamburgers, her former brother and sister.
"My, my Angel scouts, I must say, you seem to have the better half." He
paused, a smile creeping on his ugly face.
"I have saved the worst for last though, it was nice meeting you, and it
shall be the last time we meet." Suddenly he put down Bessie and took out a
rod, which he stuck on his head. It started glowing, and miles and miles of
gooey grease pour from it. The grease from his hair was being sucked up by
the rod, and transferring into goo.
"Oh no," they screamed.
"Not the grease, no," yelled Trish. The grease drew up into a wave and
came crashing down on the Angel scouts. It made their hair greasy, which
took their power away.
"I've been hit," whispered Lauren, clutching her hair, which was becoming
greasier by the second. Trish was in a state of shock.
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," muttered Lisa, becoming delirious.
"There's no place like home, there's no place like home," yelled Tamara.
Brandi just started muttering incoherently, something about shampoo.
Narrator: Who just appeared at the fight
Oh no! The Angel scouts are down! Whatever shall we do!
Riley laughed evilly.
"I'll tell you, I will finally have complete control over all the B/A
shippers. With no one to fight for the couple, I shall take power of them,
and I will convert them into and this is the best part
RILEY LOVERS, AND ANGEL HATERS!!
Bwahahahahaah!"
Narrator: OMG, no, the world shall be tossed into hell!
Riley just stroked his calf, which he had picked up again, and looked on
pity at the withering Angel scouts whose hair was still getting greasier.
He opened his mouth to say something, when in rushed David B. on a
motorcycle. Tamara lifted her head at his entrance, but just barely. So
did the others.
"David," they all yelled, happy to see the man whom played the character
that they fought in the name of.
"I thought that you had a press conference," whispered Lisa. He smiled his
smile that made every girl melt to a puddle.
"Well, I just thought that I'd take the time to travel to the dimension
that the show takes place, just to see how you were doing, and I just found
out what had happened. He glared at Riley, who was dazed to see his arch
nemesis. Riley was too stupid to know about the alternate universe, so he
thought that David was actually Angel, but Angel was in LA. David reached
into his bag, and pulled out 7 bottles of herbal essences. They girls
yelled in joy, but weakly. David quickly poured the shampoo into their
hair, and the results were instant. The grease disappeared, and they gained
their power back. They all yelled there thanks to David. He smiled THAT
smile again, and jumped on his motorcycle. He gunned the engine and yelled
a parting comment.
"No probe, I always love to help my fav girls," They all sighed.
"Good luck," he yelled, and zoomed off into the night. Riley screamed a
girly scream as the six girls turned to face him, their faces masks of anger
and rage. Without a word, they all held hands and put their powers together
for their final attack, the one that would surly kill Riley.
"Picture power, STIKE," yelled the Angel scouts. In the air appeared
millions of B/A pictures. Riley gasped in horror and dropped Bessie. His
eyes started to melt.
"NO," he screamed, as the rest of his body started to melt. "Not the
pictures!" Riley finally finished melting, and his grease melted into the
sew pipes that just happened to be in the church. The Angel scouts laughed,
and went out for pizza to celebrate. They were happy and partayed into the
night and the afternoon and the day, throwing cheese at people and eating
ice cream with their noses. They all lived happily ever, in their crazy
would, sniffing icing sugar, and eating slurpees and jumping out of 1000
feet windows, without being harmed. They also opened up a fast food joint
where they served you guessed it, burgers, burgers, and nothing but
burgers!! In memory of Riley of course.
Narrator: Let me tell you, Bessie was divine! So, here ends out story, the
Angel scouts triumphed over evil Riley, and B/A eventually got back together
and had 6 kids.
They lived happily ever after!!!

Authors Note: if this story made no sense, then it did its job! Feedback
please. Or else, the Angel scout will come and get you!

ANGEL ROCKS!!